Mel W. is a first generation Bolivian American, born and raised in the DC suburbs. The majority of her life was spent on the East Coast and in 2012, she followed her heart (and President Obama’s re-election campaign) to Ohio. She married her college sweetheart in 2016 and last December, they welcomed their first child, Camila Rey. During non-COVID times, you can usually catch her on a patio listening to live music with a glass of wine in hand.

When did you know you wanted to be a mother?

Culturally, it was always expected that I would marry and have kids but personally and as the oldest of 3, I have always considered myself a caretaker and confidant. As I approached my 30s, I grew more secure in my identity and in the values I wanted to pass on to a future generation.

Tell us about your mother and her influence on you.

My mom is my hero. As an immigrant, she taught me perseverance and sacrifice. As a business owner, she demonstrated a strong work ethic and desire to learn. As a single mother, she showed me how to be independent and resilient.

Anytime I think something is hard, I remember how my mom navigated life in a new country, not knowing English, away from her support system and with limited resources. She never wavered in her will to succeed and give her children a better life and I truly wouldn’t be where I am today without her.

How did your mother's influence affect you and your siblings? How will your approach to raising children differ from her? How will it be similar?

I am forever thankful that my mom raised me and my brothers in a bicultural home. While we attended private K-12 Catholic schools that were predominantly white, we still ate Bolivian dishes, listened to Latin music and spoke Spanish at home. Being fluent in Spanish has afforded me amazing opportunities in my professional career during my post-grad DC days and with President Obama’s re-election campaign here in Ohio. Currently it also allows me to serve my community and causes I am passionate about by offering translation services to local attorneys and their incarcerated clients. As parents, Jake and I are committed to teaching Camila Spanish and making sure she is rooted in her Bolivian background as well.

Due to the schools I went to, most of my classmates and friends were white and I didn’t experience much diversity in race or ideology until I got to college. Religious education was a big part of my mom’s decision making when it came to schools but for me, my focus is more on a diverse learning environment. I want Camila to be surrounded by students and staff who don’t necessarily look, think and talk like her and that will open her eyes to other lived experiences. I’d say there’s a pretty good chance Camila will go to public school .. and not have to wear a uniform for 12 years like I did.

What do you remember most about the moment you gave birth to your daughter?

Giving birth was one of the most surreal moments of my life. The 7 hours leading up to it were quite the opposite (ouch!) but in that final push, I mostly remember the emotions on Jake’s face. It was a lot like walking down the aisle at our wedding – joy, excitement, pride and maybe a little fear for the new adventure ahead.

How did you choose the name of your daughter?

No sentimental story here .. Camila was the title of my favorite Mexican telenovela in the 90’s. Jake and I went through so many baby name lists and Camila was one of the very few names we both agreed on. We also took into consideration names that my Spanish-speaking family would be able to pronounce.

How do you stay organized with a brand new baby?

Pre-baby, I was a type A perfectionist who lived for a to-do list. Now, my to-do list has one task on it: Keep Camila alive. In true type A fashion, I still send my husband Outlook invites for appointments and times I could use his help at home. We also designate at least one afternoon per week where I can leave the house alone for some self-care .. which usually involves a leisurely trip to Target or Home Goods.

What’s the most difficult part about being a mother?

What’s been most difficult for me as a mother has been the loneliness. Motherhood is not easy but a global pandemic sure doesn’t help the isolation. I am SO thankful for my company’s generous maternity leave (6 months, paid – thank you, lululemon!) and the truth is that I spend a good chunk of my week home alone with my daughter. I miss seeing my friends and family in person and I’m sad that Camila hasn’t met some of them yet. Between winter and COVID, cabin fever has definitely set in and I’m looking forward to warmer temperatures and getting back to “normal” times. #wearyourmask

What’s the best part about being a mother?

The best part of being Camila’s mom is being able to uncover a new layer of myself at 35. I’m a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, an athlete and now, I am learning what it is to be a mother. Songs or TV shows that never meant anything to me before, bring me to tears now. Conversely, baby farts make laugh every single time. I’ve found new levels of patience and curiosity in between moments of doubt and fear. I feel stronger than ever and know I can do hard things (hello, breastfeeding) .. And now, I totally get what it means to have your heart go walking outside your body.

What surprised you most about being a parent to a newborn?

I was shocked at how fast my body adjusted to functioning on less sleep! Spoiler alert: “sleep when the baby sleeps” is a bogus idea. Cami isn’t sleeping through the night just yet but nowadays, a 5 hour stretch has got your girl feeling like a million bucks!

What do you think your guiding philosophy will be when raising your daughter?

“You are your ancestors’ wildest dreams.” I heard this at a work conference a few years ago and it truly shifted how I show up as a human and now, as a mom. When raising Camila, I want her to know and be proud of where she came from. I want her to be inspired by the sacrifice of those who came before her to make a difference for those who will come after.

What advice do you have for Cami and her children regarding raising kids? What do you want them to remember?

Do you. The amount of unsolicited opinions, advice and pressure you will receive from family, friends and complete strangers is mind-boggling. In the end, do you. You are the best parent for your child.

I hope Cami remembers that her voice and actions do have an impact. The way she uses them are up to her and I hope that she uses them to do good in and out of her home life.

What do you want Camila to remember specifically about you?

I want Camila to remember my fun and adventurous spirit. From kitchen dance parties and carpool karaoke to over-the-top birthdays and spontaneous travels. I hope she remembers how much we fun we had treating every day like a new adventure.

Is there anything else you want to say on this topic?

Pregnancy and parenthood during a pandemic are no joke. These journeys are hard enough as is but navigating these unprecedented times + a social justice awakening in the last 12 months has been mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. It has also made me dig deep into who I am as an individual and moving forward, how I can better contribute to my community and beyond by raising a child.

Publish date: April 12, 2021