Rosa Z. (she/they) is a first-generation, low-income college student at UC Berkeley, where she studies Chemical Engineering and Data Science. She is a lover of all things STEM, but especially in weaving science and technology into sustainable energy, food, and lifestyle. She currently conducts research on fuel cell technology with the Berkeley Lab, and documents her cooking and studying adventures on her Instagram (@ramblingrosa).

Why is wellness (in all of its forms) so important to you and what do you wish that all women knew about mental health/self-care?

Womxn have very complex roles and expectations set into their lives from an early age. Everything from appearance, attractiveness, capability, and intelligence — all of these or the lack thereof are judged. I’ve become increasingly more aware of the expectations that others have placed on me and that I’ve set on myself. For me, wellness is critical to how I care for my mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. A lot of my wellness is centered around personal fitness, health, and my regular routines — but not everyone’s method of self-care looks like mine or their friends’ or what we see on the internet. Self care is not always bubble baths and Netflix parties and late night drives. Sometimes it’s ugly crying, cancelling plans, blank stares at the ceiling, and angry screams into the void. For womxn, I think there can be this expectation that we have to care for ourselves in a graceful, pretty way, but not wanting or needing those forms of care is valid. Take care of yourself however you believe is best for you.

What do you wish that all young people (teenagers + your college peers) knew about mental health/self-care?

For my fellow Gen Z individuals, a lot of us are pursuing schooling and trying to juggle work, recruiting for internships/jobs, relationships, and so much more on top of school. Things can definitely be a rat race, and there’s this expectation that we all need to be hustling and getting ahead while we’re young. For those in university and beyond, that can be especially relevant since you’re surrounded by ambitious peers who are talking about interviews and coursework and whatnot. It is very normal to feel overwhelmed at times!! There are so many sacrifices that we make to get our work done and set ourselves up for the future. Please know that everything is worth what you make it — if you want to take a break, that is *worth* the time. You are worth the time. Don’t let toxic flexing (read: no sleep, doing 5+ clubs, etc) tell you otherwise — being young does not mean that your body and mind are invincible. You are worth the investment into your own health and well-being.

In your opinion, what is the best way to improve one’s mental well-being?

I think reentering has been the biggest theme of self-care and improving my mental state. A lot of my life has been centered on what I do for school, work, extracurriculars, and otherwise; the grind tends to cause a gap in how I feel about the things that I pursue versus what I’m actually doing. In full honesty, I think it can be hard to stay true to your own values when there are so many narratives going on — for college students, your major and studies are a huge contributor to that noise. I think that reconnecting with my own thoughts and voice has been super important to identify things that I really value and things I can leave out of my life. Your opinion should be the biggest factor in how you approach your lifestyle, and I think prioritizing my personal feelings and values in my life has drastically improved my mental well-being. Find what you value and enjoy, and lean into it!

What has the pandemic taught you the most about mental health/self-care??

I’m a very extroverted person and I think that the pandemic has made me realize that I had been forging a lot of relationships that really extended my emotional stress further out than I needed. Finding my inner calm and peace with myself has been amazing for feeling good and finding confidence. I think it’s also made me realize that there was so much toxic energy in some of my environments. Identifying those and figuring out what I need in my alone time without the presence of other people has been really important for my sense of self. Also, I think settling into routines has been really good for me. I like the normalcy and steadiness it brings, even when I’m working on really crazy new things like my research or talking to new people. Disruptions to my schedule are welcome because I feel more prepared to handle things, especially since I can conduct a lot of relationship building remotely. In that way, figuring out how to adjust to my environment has been the biggest help to handling and coping with mental stress.

What stresses you out the most?

Thinking too far ahead! My calendar looks scary all the time, and I think the worst is when I let myself drift too far forward in time. The mental burden of all my responsibilities can be really overwhelming, sometimes even more than the actual task itself. When I get like this, my friends and loved ones always remind me that I’m overthinking and I need to recenter. One thing at a time. It will be okay.

How do you practice self-care?

I am a big proponent for personal health when it comes to self-care. Eating well, drinking lots of water, and working out are super important parts of my life. I think practicing these ways of physically taking care of myself sets me up to take care of myself mentally and emotionally. I also am really big on reaching out to my loved ones and nurturing my relationships. I’m always very transparent when there are a lot of things on my plate to handle, and it helps me feel less stressed when I communicate that to the people who I interact with and may depend on me for things. Transparency makes me feel good about taking space, time, and energy to recuperate and recenter when I need it. I think combining these things and making them an integral part of my life have been extremely good for my own practices of self-care.

How would you describe a perfect day?

Wake up early in the morning and brew some coffee. Sip that while I walk to the bakery for some fresh baked pastries to eat while I read. Grab some groceries from the local market and then come back home for yoga. Do some work — I enjoy feeling that productivity burst and working on things that have deadlines in the semi-distant future. I like going out for lunch, I’ve been really into small pop-up shops around the East Bay lately so maybe somewhere like That Smax (ig: @that_smax) or Eman in Oakland. After lunch, clean the house (it’s kind of therapeutic for me) while I browse music on SoundCloud and Spotify. I’d probably nap a bit at this point, and then wake up to cook dinner with groceries from earlier in the day. Finish up the night with dessert, probably ice cream or some frozen pineapple. Call a friend or play League with the homies. Get ready for bed. Sleep well.

What top 3 lessons have you learned the hard way and why?

1. I am not as efficient as I think. I often allot too little time for myself to get things done, and it just makes me feel guilty about not being “productive enough”. In reality, I just need more time, and that is 100% normal. 

2. Sometimes I cannot do anything for other people, and I have to be okay with that. Supporting someone is not just helping them and being there for them; sometimes it’s knowing how to step back and let them go. Some relationships are not meant to last longer than what they run for, and that is okay. People change, but in the time you have together, growing and existing together is a beautiful thing.

3. Just try. It seems simple but I think I really struggled with this. To quote one of my favorite movies, “It’s just a leap of faith” (Spiderverse). There are so many unknowns out there that it’s nearly impossible to know how much you enjoy something without first trying it. Just try, especially if it’ s an academic or career path. Go see what’s out there!

What 5 things do you love about yourself?

1. My eyes are warm.

2. I tell good stories.

3. I make people feel comfortable.

4. I have a good singing voice.

5. I’m very creative with artwork and cooking!

Who, among the people you know, brings out the best in you and why?

I think two people come to mind: my mother, and one of my close friends, Bridget. They are both amazing, beautiful, and strong womxn who inspire me to grow. Bridget has seen me develop as a student, athlete, and friend since I was 13, and it’s been a crazy 7ish, 8 years since then. Her compassion and kindness never cease to amaze me, and I try to channel her warmth and sincerity in how I move through the world. I want to be mindful of my community and the people around me, and I want to bring joy to my loved ones the way she does to hers. I feel really lucky to be her friend, and to have received her mentorship and support throughout all of these years. From my embarrassingly too-loud teenage self to who I am now, I really think she is to thank for my growth. Her presence in my life is profound, and I don’t think I would be half the person I am today without her faith in me and her inspiration to me. I love who I am when I am with her, and I hope that she remains a part of my life until our bones turn to dust. Alongside Bridget is my mother. My mom is one of the most devoted and hardworking people I know. Her love for me and my brother is unconditional, and that is so clear to see even from the glimpses of the extent she goes for our family. She has been a wonderful parent to me, and I think much of it is because she has this unwavering trust in my brother and me. I am very grateful for that faith, and it is one of my biggest motivators in pursuing my dreams and chasing what I want in life. I know that she loves us, and I want to make her proud. These two womxn bring out my best, and I treasure them dearly.

What keeps you up at night?

Not gonna lie, my schoolwork and studies. I usually will just sleep early and wake up early to do work though, so at least I’m not up too late!

What do you do when you can’t sleep at night?

Drink water, listen to some lo-fi music, and then go back to bed haha. I try to stay away from screens or bright light if I can’t sleep since those kind of disrupt my sleepiness.

Name one thing you’re really afraid to do and explain why.

I am very scared of applying to grad school, and it’s probably because I feel very under-qualified and also I am terrified of getting rejected from everything. There’s this unreasonable part of me that thinks I’m useless and not worth it, but even though it is unreasonable, it is a big constant in my hesitation. I feel a lot of imposter syndrome at school, and I think the whole process of taking the GRE, submitting transcripts, getting letters of recommendation — all of that is super intimidating. In the past two semesters though, my research mentor Anamika has been so incredible to me as a role model and supporter. She’s really helped me gain confidence in my abilities as a researcher and student, and I feel really lucky and grateful to have her advice and encouragement as I move towards post-undergraduate plans. I think I’m slowly getting over this fear of rejection and “failure”, so hopefully I will be able to get the confidence to apply!

What has had the greatest impact on your life, good or bad, and why?
Reconnecting with my friends from high school this pandemic has been really eye opening for me. They’ve seen me grow a lot, and I think it’s pretty crazy how much respect we carry for each other.

Do you have any bad habits you wish you could break? What are they?

I pile a lot of work on my plate because I’m very curious. This kind of backfires when I want to do too many different things and suddenly I’m just left with a lot of different work that I’m not sure I 100% enjoy.

What do you think is keeping you from complete happiness?

I think I am very happy. There are a lot of things that I still want to work on and improve at, like getting more involved in social and environmental justice causes. I want to become a better person, but I think I am very happy with my trajectory and current place in life as well. I am very very lucky that things in my life are good. I feel like I’m where I am supposed to be. I’m very proud of myself for overcoming the things that I have to be where I am. I’m a first-generation, low-income womxn of color in STEM. I attend my university on a full-ride scholarship, and I have amazing communities that support me and respect me. I conduct research with a national institute, and I am on my way to earning a degree in engineering. Just two years ago, I almost dropped out of university as my GPA tanked and my confidence was decimated. But now, here I am. Standing tall. Crazy haha but gratifying and joyful.

What’s your happy place?

A physical happy place would be the balcony of my apartment. I really love sitting on the balcony and watching the sunset, or sipping some coffee and singing as a break from my work. It makes me feel calm and at peace. My mental happy place is just in music! I listen to a lot of music when I study, and I like letting myself sink into the sounds.

Is there anything else you want to say on this topic?

Everyone has a different picture of wellness, and I support the ways in which you take care of yourself. If you ever want to chat or have any questions about any of what I mentioned here, feel free to reach out! I’m alway very excited and happy to meet people, and these topics are really enjoyable for me to discuss. DM me on Instagram for fastest replies!

Publish date: May 17, 2021